Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Your body is away from me
But there is a window open
from my heart to yours.
From this window, like the moon
I keep sending news secretly.

Rumi ♥ 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Seven months? Really?

Time is a strange thing because it seems like You've been gone forever;
Yet at the same time it seems like You were performing with Jim & Vickie last week.
I can close my eyes and be right there in the grass hearing You sing one of Your favorites with two of Your favorite people . . .

Love You Good . . .

Monday, May 21, 2012

I want to sleep with you. I don't mean have sex. I mean sleep. Together. Under the blankets. In my bed. With my hand on your chest and your arm around me. With the window cracked, so it's chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just sleepy, blissfully happy, in silence....

Sunday, May 13, 2012

i've always had a knack, a gift some say, to recall events and timelines with amazing detail and accuracy. i remember details that others have long forgotten. also, i seldom need to write appointments on my calendar. i just know, i just remember.  it's just something i do, always have. like i have a built in calendar that goes both directions, past and future.

just recently i realized that i now have a new marker for my internal timeline of past events.
 'Scott was still here, alive, when that happened.', or 'Oh, that was after Scott died.'  a definite & obvious line of demarcation. 
 when i recall a day, an event, a whatever, in my minds eye the memories from when he was here are always brighter, a bit more vibrant, more vivid. however when i recall a day, an event, a whatever, in my minds eye the memories from after he died those are always somewhat dull & lackluster, similar to an overcast sky with no sunshine.   like our skies today...

when all the days look the same it makes them difficult to track, difficult to delineate one from another.  i expect, at some point, the days will begin to have light again, begin to have a little shine to them. not that the days will be like *before*. no, those days will never be again. but a little bit of brightness wouldn't hurt.

and i'm looking forward to those days . . . the ones with a little brightness in them . . .

Monday, May 7, 2012

i will forever feel You in every drop of rain...