Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My heart is so small, it’s almost invisible.
How can You place such big sorrows in it?
“Look,” He answered, “your eyes are even smaller,
yet they behold the world. 

Monday, January 30, 2012

today i realize that part of this
profound  feeling of grief & loss is
feeling homesick.

i feel overwhelmingly homesick.

my home is gone.
they say home is where the heart is.
my heart is broken, my home is gone.
there is no means to get back there.
it no longer exists in this world.
so with one small step at a time i will begin to build a new home.
my heart will begin to heal,
its brokenness will be stitched back to wholeness.
a scar or ten will remain
as a never dying memory of what was once there.
there is no place like home & i will never forget the home i've lost.


“ you can't fix it, she said.
you have no control over it.
there's nothing you can do but
wait it out.

but what if the waiting it out
is killing you? i asked.

ahhhh.....she said...that's
where you do have control. you can
control how you react.
that's where you want to put the effort. ”

~terri st. cloud


Saturday, January 28, 2012

Your body is away from me
But there is a window open
from my heart to yours.
From this window, like the moon
I keep sending news secretly. 

Rumi ♥

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Nothing needs to be fixed. Everything is unfolding perfectly. So when you stand in your now accepting that all is well, then from that vibration, you become surrounded by more and more evidence that all is well. But when you're convinced that things are broken, that there is pollution, or that things have gone wrong, or that the government is doing conspiracies... then what happens is you get caught up in that vibration, and you begin to manifest that kind of stuff, and then you say, "See, I told you that things were going wrong."
--- Abraham

Saturday, January 21, 2012

beams of light

“ beams of light stood like pillars
in the darkness.
solidly standing there
offering relief and support.
leaning into them,
she touched loved,
she touched life,
she touched meaning. ”

~terri st. cloud

Thursday, January 19, 2012

the lost quote

“ you didn't tell me pretty words,
you didn't offer me peace and grace,
you went with me to the depths of
my shame and my anger.
you allowed me my darkness.
you allowed me to be real.
and it is in the dark realness of my soul
that my healing began. ”

~terri st. cloud


Sunday, January 15, 2012

just as i feel my land legs slightly beginning to return,
another wave of hurt and sorrow slams me back down.

things are not at all what they seemed to be,
and ripping the band-aid off sucks...

today all i can do is shake my head and cry...

Saturday, January 14, 2012

be real, be true, be open, be seen, be honest,
don't hide your actions, be transparent, show.
just show.
if you feel the need to hide something
then you are most likely doing something you shouldn't be.
only do things that will withstand the light of day.
do not do things that need to be carried out in the shadows of the night.
live this way and you'll be able to greet yourself 
in the mirror in the morning without shame or guilt. 

what freedom . . . eh?

pieces of her heart

“ there were pices of her heart
lying around cold and lonely.
gradually she gathered them together.
taking her heart back,
she made it hers again. ”

~terri st. cloud

Friday, January 13, 2012

it will always be too soon,
it will always be too hard.
sometimes it is best to do it anyway
or risk being forever stuck in this place.


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

little debbie says,

'i love my Boing magic light ball!  i love it because 
well mostly because it is just cool! but also because 
it doesn't have a string to swing it around or wear it 
as a necklace. that makes it extra special cuz it's different!
thank You, daddy.'


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

birthing her

“ she awoke one day
and realized all these steps
she had taken were like labor pains.
the sorrow and grief and confusion
were her contractions.
all leading to the birth of the woman she had become. ”

~terri st. cloud

when i read this poem i read the last line as follows:
'all leading to the birth of the woman she was becoming.'
i believe my minds eye read it this way because 
i am absolutely positive that it is through the pain,
sorrow, grief and confusion i'm experiencing now 
that i will become the woman i am intended to be.
i will never be the same after experincing 
what i'm going through right now.
i am believing the changes will be for the better.
otherwise what's the point of it all ???

Monday, January 9, 2012

Clearing and Shielding with Archangel Michael

it seems like every area of my life is in a state of flux right now. from my job, to my son, to my friends, to the loss of my partner. with all of this stuff going on i found that this short meditation really hit home for me.

i would do well to take 5 minutes everyday to invite Archangel Michael to be with me and help me to raise my vibration which i know is very very low these days.

Doreen Virtue, thank you for posting this very helpful meditation
on your YouTube channel 'The Angel Channel'.

You could begin to notice whenever you find yourself
blaming others or justifying yourself. If you spent
the rest of your life just noticing that and letting
it be a way to uncover the silliness of the human condition
—the tragic yet comic drama that we all continually buy into—
you could develop a lot of wisdom and a lot of kindness
as well as a great sense of humor.

Pema Chödrön

thank you Pema, i shall begin to notice...

Sunday, January 8, 2012

I died from minerality and became vegetable;
And From vegetativeness I died and became animal.
I died from animality and became man.
Then why fear disappearance through death?
Next time I shall die
Bringing forth wings and feathers like angels;
After that, soaring higher than angels -
What you cannot imagine,
I shall be that.